Fighting Addiction Read online

  Jesus, the big screen was brutal.

  Sebastian looked like a fucking famine victim. His eyes moved constantly, jittering like mad, and every time the man ran from one end of the stage to another, he looked like he was fixing to have a heart attack.

  Then there was the phone call. He’d answered Tawny on the first ring, because she never called at six in the morning.

  “Yeah?”

  “I knew you were up. You need to talk to Seb,” she’d barked, no hello, no good morning, nothing.

  “About what?” Markus had put her on speaker because his ears fucking hurt, and he was shoveling a fruit salad up like there was no tomorrow.

  “I got a call after the show. Reporter working on a project for Country Expose. Wanted a quote about Seb’s weight loss and alleged drug use.”

  Markus stopped with the fork halfway to his mouth. “What did you say?”

  “Told him my quote was ‘fuck off’ and called Jack. Wanna know what Jack told me?”

  God, he could imagine. “Fuck off?”

  “Pretty much. People are noticing, though, Markus. Lots of people. I did a vanity search online. It’s a trend.”

  “I’ll talk to him,” Markus had murmured before hanging up and heading for Seb’s personal space.

  It was time to reverse the fucking trend.

  Markus knocked sharply on the door of the bus.

  “Bev, go back to bed and leave me be. I don’t want another fucking shake!”

  He knocked again, knowing Seb would come up to scream if he thought it was still Bev. The man was notorious about not letting anyone on the bus.

  The door was thrown open, Seb’s face bright red. “I said no, Bev!”

  Markus shouldered his way into the bus, making Seb stumble up the stairs backward. “We need to talk.”

  “What the fuck? I don’t…. What are you doing?” Seb’s bus was like a fucking guitar museum slash gym.

  “I said we need to talk.” He reached over and tugged the ever-present sunglasses off Seb’s face. “Look at your eyes, baby. You’re high as a kite.”

  “Hey!” Seb grabbed for his glasses. “What the fuck? What is your fucking issue?”

  “My fucking issue is that someone called Tawny for a quote about your drug use. She tried to call Jack, but he told her to fuck off.” He caught Seb’s wrist when the man made another grab.

  “Drug use? What the fuck are you talking about? There’s no fucking illegal shit on this bus!”

  “I never said you were doing illegal. I’m sure your speed is prescription.” So frustrated he could spit, Markus shook Seb’s arm a little. “Press people are talking, baby. It’s only a matter of time before we have a problem.” He should fucking know.

  “Get out. You don’t have a fucking problem.” He knew the look on Seb’s face; that was panic.

  “Oh, fuck that. What are you doing, baby? What’s going on? You’re gonna kill yourself.” He held on when Seb started struggling, just determined to help. Something.

  “You don’t fucking get it! The old dose wasn’t working! I’m fucking tired!”

  “Well, maybe you should fucking sleep!” He got right in Seb’s face, shouting back.

  “There’s no time!” Seb snarled and tugged away, heading back, deeper in the bus, and he’d be damned if the little fucker didn’t go for those fucking pill bottles. No. No way. They were fucking talking, and Seb was high enough.

  He slapped the bottle out of Seb’s hand, tiny pills flying, hitting the wall, the floor, clattering in the sink like little teeth.

  Bright green eyes flashed up at him. “You can’t do that!”

  “I just did. You’re dealing with me now, not them.”

  “Them? Dealing with you? You, who can’t even bear to let me stay in the same house as you! You can’t trust me enough to…. Get off my fucking bus!” Seb grabbed him, shook him hard, and tried to drag him down the hallway, and the tiny fuck was stronger than he looked. Good thing Markus was in the best shape of his life.

  And bigger.

  “I’m not leaving until you talk to me.” He wrapped Seb in a bear hug, mainly in self-defense. Little shit could hit hard.

  “Talk to you about what? What the fuck do you want?”

  “I want to know what’s happening to you! You’re so OCD you’ve stopped eating! This is crazy.”

  “Don’t call me crazy. That’s what the pills are for! To help!” Seb stared at him. “Lay off about my weight. I know exactly what I weigh, you asshole!”

  “Yeah?” His lip curled. “Well, it’s not helping.” He was so fucking worried about Seb that he couldn’t be nice. Not now. Not with the man he’d fucking been in love with for ten years turning into a zombie in front of him and twenty thousand fans.

  “Fuck you, you sanctimonious prick. It must be fucking nice to lay off the booze for a few months and then suddenly be at your fighting weight and perfectly goddamn happy! Some of us have to work a little harder at keeping it together!”

  “Lay off the….” Markus saw red at that. The only thing he was more addicted to in the world besides the booze was Sebastian. Roaring, he pushed Seb back into the bus, sending the little fuck flying, staggering back to land on the cushy couch he’d had custom installed. Seb came flying up off the sofa, launching himself at Markus like a waxed, hysterical, skinny torpedo. He hit like a ton of bricks, and Markus grunted, lifting Seb up off the floor, those strong legs kicking. “I swear to God, I will beat you senseless.”

  “You’ll fucking try. You watch out, Candy. You might start touching me and then where the fuck would you be?”

  “Jesus Christ. You think I don’t want to every day?” He forgot what they were fighting about, forgot everything but the feel of Sebastian’s body against his. Seb wanted to know what he’d do if they started touching? Markus would show him. He mashed his mouth down on Sebastian’s lips, taking the kiss he’d needed for weeks.

  Seb cried out, fingers digging into his shoulders, hard enough to leave bruises. Like he was going to back off, back down. Not this fucking time. No way.

  Little fuck, pushing him. Always pushing. Markus was about to push back. Hard.

  “Get the fuck out of my bus.” Seb growled the words against his mouth, then shoved back into the kiss.

  “No.” The word was muffled, but Markus meant it. He wasn’t leaving. Not this time. He tore at Seb’s tank top, the soft sweats.

  He wanted to feel, damn it. He wanted to hear Seb scream. He wanted fucking access. Those ribs stood out a little too much, and he could feel Seb’s heart beating way too fast, but he didn’t stop. Didn’t care.

  “You’ve lost your motherfucking mind.” Seb bit his bottom lip, hard enough that the sting made him growl.

  He pushed them over, making Seb bounce on the couch, then climbed up to straddle that strong little body, his hips pressing down against Seb’s. “Just hold still, would you?”

  “I can’t.” No, he could feel those muscles jerking and twitching, moving against him.

  “Yes, you can.” He lowered his chest to rest on Seb’s, holding the man down. He wanted Seb to stop, to breathe with him, and this seemed so natural.

  “Stop it.” Seb took a deep, deep breath as they stopped there.

  “No.” He couldn’t. His cock ached, but that was the least of it, really. His whole self needed Seb like a drug. He pressed Seb’s hands up above the man’s head, loving the stretch and pull of those lean muscles.

  Seb arched under him, a deep sound filling the air as their skin slid together. Fuck, yes. Just stop for a fucking second and feel. His eyes rolled a little, and he bent to kiss that mouth again. He drank deep. Sweet bastard. Every time Seb tried to move, he bore down, squeezing Seb’s wrists.

  Seb kicked a little, but Markus held him down, his cock burning against the cloth of his sweats. There was an answering hardness poking at his belly, telling him that he wasn’t alone in this.

  Of course, need was never their problem. Never. Markus levered up just eno
ugh to pull off clothes. When Seb tried to slip out from under him, he pushed back down, keeping Seb trapped in place.

  “Markus. Candy. We….”

  “Shut up, baby. We are.” He was fucking tired of lying, of not taking what he needed.

  Hell, he was tired of not giving his lover what Seb needed, and Seb needed him. Now. He bit a little, down on Seb’s shoulder, right where the tank top would sit.

  “Fuck.” Those lean muscles rolled, body bucking beneath him. “Markus.”

  “Uh-huh. I want, baby. I want so bad.” They were skin to skin, his cock in the hollow of Seb’s hip. Every time Seb pushed, he bore down, not letting Seb run the show.

  “You’re just going to feel guilty after. You regret me.”

  “No.” His hand tightened around Seb’s wrist. “I regret not brazening it out when we had the chance. That’s the only damned thing I regret, baby.”

  Seb groaned low, body slamming up into him, slapping their skin together. The sound was insanely rhythmic, almost like the bass line of a song. Oh, fuck. A song.

  He looked around the couch area, trying to find something to hold Seb’s hands. He wanted to investigate those tattooed musical notes.

  Markus grabbed Seb’s tank top, wrapped it around the man’s wrists before Seb figured out what he was doing. That was perfect. The fabric stretched, but it didn’t let Seb put his arms to his sides. That way Markus could slide down, his teeth closing on one flat little nipple. Seb offered him a little squeak, a groan, but the lean torso arched up against his mouth. So sweet, the way every move got a hot reaction, a sound or a slide of muscle under skin. This was about pleasure now, not power. Well, maybe a little power.

  Maybe a little of both wouldn’t hurt anything at all.

  When he was done nipping at Seb’s chest, he moved lower, pressing sucking kisses to Seb’s too-flat belly.

  “Don’t, Candy….”

  Oh no. No. He was tired of stop and wait and don’t. It was time to do. Definitely. He pushed down, chin rubbing Seb’s hip, the low light almost too little to see the tats.

  He hummed the opening bar, frowning as he recognized the tune. “Silent Love.”

  That was his biggest hit, not Seb’s.

  Markus pondered that for a moment, tracing the notes with his fingers. Seb went still under him, barely breathing, and Markus closed his eyes. It was definitely time to stop fighting this, no matter what came of it.

  “Candy. I….”

  “Shh.” He rubbed his cheek along Seb’s hard cock, letting his stubble drag. “It’s okay, baby. Just stop and feel.” He turned his head, licking that hard cock from base to tip.

  Seb made the tiniest sound, belly flushing a deep red. It was hot as all hell, the way those little tremors shook Seb’s body, the way Seb’s heartbeat throbbed under his tongue. Fuck, that was his. This man was fucking meant for him to love on.

  He licked, then sucked for a moment, just at the head. This was just the warm-up. Seb’s legs spread, knees drawing up sweet as pie. That was an invitation he couldn’t resist. He turned his head, biting one thigh.

  “Fuck you. You can’t just come in here and make me need you.”

  Oh, he so could. “I don’t need to make you, baby. You want me anyway.” He bit again, licking to ease the sting.

  That sweet cock was proof enough, that song, inked into Seb’s skin. Markus moaned, licking his way down Seb’s thigh, heading for the heavy balls. All that bare skin was erotic as hell.

  Seb sobbed for him, rocked, damn near dancing, pushing under his mouth.

  Markus pushed at Seb’s balls with his tongue, moving them in their sac. He’d dreamed about this fine body for months. Now he got to explore. There was a tiny scar over one hip bone, a smooth place underneath that made Seb jump and gasp. Markus liked that, so he nipped at it, wanting more reaction. Fuck, he wanted to leave his mark, so he bit down, letting his teeth sink in, bear down, and Seb cried out, the sound like the best crescendo. Seb fought him a little, but it was a weak attempt. More for show than anything, he’d bet.

  Didn’t stop him from slapping Seb’s hip. “Stop it.”

  “Hey!” Oh, that made somebody growly.

  “I said stop it.” He did it again, just because it felt good and it made Seb’s cock bounce. They’d never played this game, but Markus thought it was a damned good idea.

  “You fucker. You can’t do that.” Seb’s eyes were burning down at him, lips parted, a dull flush climbing up that ripped belly. The man hadn’t ever been so fucking hot.

  Ever.

  “You think so, baby?” Oh, that was a say-I-won’t moment if he’d ever needed one. Kneeling up, he flipped Sebastian over so that fine, tiny ass was up, Seb’s arms still hampered by the tank top wrapped around them. He pulled back and smacked Seb’s ass so hard it stung his hand. Jesus, his hand was big enough it almost covered Seb’s ass, and he’d be damned if Seb didn’t arch up, back bowing to offer him more. His belly went tight, and he smacked Seb again, then again, needing to feel, needing the tingle and the heat of it.

  His mouth was dry, his eyes feeling like they were burning in his skull. Seb danced under him, moans like music on the air.

  Jesus fuck, he… how had he walked away from this?

  Markus groaned, tongue rasping over his lips, and Seb surged back, ass meeting his hand this time, humping up toward him.

  It was like the best kind of rhythm, his hand on that skin. It sent little shocks up his arm, all the way to his shoulder. He was moaning too, his cock throbbing, balls aching with it. Not that he could stop. He just couldn’t. His hand kept moving, his palm and fingers on fire, Seb’s ass taking on a rosy glow.

  “Markus…. Please. Please, man. I’m so fucking close.” Seb’s thighs spread, the offer clear as day.

  “I know, baby. I’m not sure I’ll make it.” If he could find a rubber, that might keep him honest, keep him from blowing the moment he slid inside Seb’s body.

  His fingers trailed over Seb’s ass and the man cried out, jerked hard under him, that skin burning hot. “Please!”

  “I need stuff, baby. Where do you keep it?”

  “My bedroom. It’s all in there.”

  A bed sounded like a perfect fucking idea. Markus levered off the couch and hauled Seb up, arm around the lean waist. It took no effort to carry the man, and only a little to keep from bumping them into things.

  Seb’s bedroom was a wreck, blankets tangled, pillows strewn everywhere. It sort of made Markus feel better, like maybe Seb could live here. He tossed Seb down on the bed and started digging, watching out of the corner of his eye as Sebastian tried to free his hands.

  He found a stash of rubbers and slick about the time Seb got a hand free. It seemed to take Seb a second to decide whether to reach for him, reach for the hand that was still caught up, or reach down for that fat, dripping cock.

  The decision was really his, so Markus pushed Seb’s hand back up above his head, bearing down on that beautiful body again. “Spread, baby. Let me in.”

  “Oh, fuck.” Seb nodded, legs going wide, so eager, so fucking hot for him.

  His fingers fumbled with the little tube of lube, but he got it open, got enough out to get Seb ready for him. He touched that tight little hole, circled it once before pushing two fingers in deep, not playing. Seb’s eyes rolled, and just about the time he’d decided to back off, Seb started riding his fingers like a wild man, teeth bared, abs rolling.

  For a long moment all he could do was watch. There was something free and amazing about Sebastian like this, something that had nothing to hide. Then Markus remembered where he was and what he was doing, and he worked his fingers, opening up that tiny space.

  “It’s you.” Seb’s whisper almost got lost in the sound of their skin, of Sebastian’s body on the sheets.

  “Well, I hope to God it’s not someone else at this late date.” He grinned, though, because he knew what Seb meant. This was really them. Together.

  “Don’t make me fucking beat
your ass.”

  Oh, funny.

  “Just let me….” He pushed his fingers in, then pulled them back, focusing on getting a condom open and smoothing it on. His hands shook hard.

  “Look at you.”

  Seb’s fingers brushed over the tip of his cock. Thank God the fucking rubber was on. Otherwise Markus would have lost it. As it was, he had to pull down on his balls to keep it all in.

  “Now. Now, Candy. I need your cock stretching me. Need to feel that.”

  His breath whooshed out, and Markus gasped to replace it, nodding sharply. Yes. He needed it too. He pushed up, his thighs under Seb’s, his hips hitting that burning skin on Seb’s ass.

  Seb arched, body like a bow for a heartbeat. “Yes.”

  “Fuck.” Markus pushed in, the head sliding against that tight ring of muscle. His eyes rolled right back into his head. Jesus, Seb’s ass was rippling around him, vibrating like guitar strings against him, and it was so fucking tight.

  It had been so damned long. This was like coming home.

  The burning skin of Seb’s ass slapped his thighs, and then those amazing abs rippled and he had himself a handful of man, Sebastian driving down on his cock.

  Markus held on, letting Sebastian ride. That way he could try to breathe and watch and touch what he wanted to touch. He slapped and pinched, grabbed and tugged, searching out those places he remembered—the small of Seb’s back, the left side, right under his ribs. The tip of Seb’s cock.

  Sebastian cried out, rocking on him, throat working. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He pinched the little slit closed, then let go, knowing it would make Seb crazy.

  “Markus… oh fucking hell, you bastard….” Uh-huh. He liked that.

  “So fucking pretty, baby. I remember.” He remembered everything, from the way Seb felt around him to the way those heavy balls slid when Seb was spread this way. The ink was new to him, and his fingers found it, tracing the notes.