Crossing the River Page 2

  He’d seen a marmot every day for a week. A buck deer. A pair of raccoons. This morning, when he walked outside, though, Mai froze, a little afraid to move.

  Grizzly bear.

  A big one, really. Not terrified big, but big enough.

  Lord.

  The bear stood on its hind legs, rubbing its back on a tree. Scritch. Scratch.

  Mai’s head tilted, and he leaned against the porch, fascinated.

  The grizzly started a Disney-esque dance of itch and scratch, wiggling and grunting.

  “Are you for real?”

  The bear stopped, stared at him then shrugged.

  Shit. Mai shook his head. “Did you just shrug? Christ, are you a bear shifter? No way.”

  The broad muzzle twisted, and Mai could swear the bear farted before ambling away. Whoa. What the hell had he been eating?

  Not berries, for sure.

  What a messed up town.

  “Gronk, gronk! Grrrronk!” A raven swooped down out of nowhere, grabbed his hair and pulled.

  “Ow! Shit!” He retreated inside. “What the fuck is this shit?”

  The raven stood on the porch, long strands of Mai’s hair in its sharp beak.

  “Okay, look, I’m not here to steal anyone’s territory.”

  A single piece of turquoise dropped before him, obviously a trade.

  “As long as you’re not gonna do spirit magic with my hair, then cool. We’re even.” Hell, for that kind of turquoise, he’d give up a few more strands.

  “Gronk.” The big bird blinked at him.

  “Right. I’m talking to a raven.” He cautiously went to pick up the stone the bird had dropped.

  It was lovely, smooth and polished, a perfect cross between robin’s egg and green. His fingers rolled over the stone, stroking it.

  “Gronk.” The raven hopped away from the door and took off.

  Wow.

  Mai had moved into Doctor Dolittle’s universe. Farting bears and trading ravens. What was next? Talking squirrels?

  A marmot popped up next to the road, and Mai simply turned around and shut the door behind him. No.

  Just no.

  In fact, he went immediately to the kitchen and pulled out a beer.

  Maybe he was losing his mind. This whole thing was just some weird as fuck hallucination brought about by lack of mutual orgasms. God knew it had been awhile on that one. His own hand wasn’t very satisfying.

  He looked outside and saw a huge brunette beast of a man wandering down to the river, lumbering in a pair of trunks and a Mötley Crüe T-shirt.

  Mai chuckled. Looked just like the bear, really—wait. Huh? Okay. He’d go with it. He grabbed two cups of coffee and headed outside.

  A soft whistle filled the air, happy and warm. Sort of wonderful. Mai found himself smiling at the sound, and he followed the big guy down to the river. There was a path, worn by god knew how many folks, and a place to put in kayaks or canoes. A little farther down, a nice-sized hippie pool was currently filled with a golden-skinned man.

  “That’s Liam. He’s grumpy.”

  “Is he? What’s your name?” Main handed over a cup of coffee, wondering if grumpy Liam might want one.

  “Nathan Gruene.” A huge hand was offered over.

  “Maicoh Eagleheart.” He shook that big hand, smiling.

  “That’s a great name. Like Ashkii.”

  “Ashkii.” His heart squeezed down tight for a moment. “That’s Navajo.”

  Nathan nodded. “That’s my best friend’s name, which you totally know, huh?”

  “Yeah.” Mai shook his head. “What are the odds? I’m not here to hurt him.”

  “Cool. He’s not going to hurt you, either. He says he’ll stay out of the way. No worries.”

  “Nathan, shut up,” Liam snarled. “It’s none of his business what the wee pup is up to.”

  “Wow, you are grumpy.” Mai studied the man soaking in the river. “Puma?”

  “Brilliant. And yes, utterly.”

  “Coffee?” he offered.

  The broad nose wiggled. “Kona?” Liam asked hopefully.

  “Yep. I’m a coffee snob.”

  “I would totally imbibe.” Those green eyes were fascinating, and Mai found himself liking the grumpy one.

  “Here. Hope you like it black. I have some cream, but someone would have to go back to the house.”

  “It’s perfect. Unadorned and amazing.” Liam drank, and Nathan handed his cup back to Mai.

  “Since you gave yours away.”

  “Not a coffee man?” He had to smile. “I bet you like tea with honey.”

  “God, yes.” Nathan’s eyes crossed.

  “Don’t you spring a woody standing here, man,” Liam growled.

  “Why not? We know he’s gay.” Nathan just grinned at him.

  “No one wants to see your club of a cock, man.”

  Mai raised a brow. “I might. Just for shits and giggles.”

  “Trust me. No one wants to see that thing. It’s unnatural.” Liam managed to look offended.

  “I happen to think it’s just right,” Nathan said with a haughty look that matched Liam’s. Almost.

  “For a moose or a water buffalo, maybe.”

  “I’m a bear!”

  “Hey, you guys mind if I get in the water, too?” The little pool looked amazing.

  “Come on in.” Liam even scooted over.

  “Thanks.” Mai stripped off his shorts and waded in. Oh, that was cold until he got to the hippie pool, where hot mineral water slipped into the current. Now that was nice, warm and relaxing, the water pushing at him.

  Mai sank down, moaning when the heat hit his tense muscles. “That’s good.”

  “Heaven.” Liam growled, eyes crossing as he sipped his coffee.

  Nathan laughed and stripped down before barreling into the water. Wow. Mai caught a glimpse of Nathan’s naked cock, and that was…prodigious. He tried not to stare.

  Liam chuckled. “Told you.”

  “Damn.” If Mai saw that coming, he’d run. “You need to hook up with a moose, for sure.”

  “I’m a bear!”

  “Or a buffalo.” Liam helped so well.

  “Are you ganging up on Nathan?”

  Holy shit, that must be the raven shifter. Hair like midnight, sharp black eyes, a profile carved of stone. Was everyone here prettier than him?

  “They are. This is Ash’s ex, Mai.” Nathan was so helpful, too.

  “Kell. Pleased.” The man’s voice was rough as a cob.

  “Hey.” Ash’s ex. The moniker made Mai sad. “You’re not gonna take more of my hair, right?”

  Kell winked. “Probably. I always trade.”

  “Well, I can’t complain. That’s a beautiful stone.” He would make something for Ash with it, put it into a carving. Even if he never got to give it. Maybe Kell would give it to Ash for him. All of these guys seemed willing to know them both.

  That was sort of cool, actually. That they weren’t going, “Ex! Grr! Arr!”

  Maybe, Ash didn’t hate him. A man could hope.

  “Oh. Oh, listen.” Nathan grinned and waved out into the river, and the expression was pure evil.

  Kell chuckled. “Saw them. No children.”

  Even Liam smiled. “Fucking A.”

  Mai tried to figure out what he was listening for. “What’s up?”

  “Rafters.” Liam looked tickled as hell.

  “As in whitewater? What’s so cool about that?”

  They were all grinning like idiots, so he had to be missing something.

  About the time that he heard the river guide say, “hippie pool”, the guys stood up and waggled their hips as if they were strippers doing a bump and grind.

  Shrieks sounded from the rafters, and the guide hooted and waved his paddle.

  They were all laughing hard as they sank into the water, all of them. Even Mai, who approved of the show in a
visceral sort of way.

  “So, my cabin is at the exhibitionist bend of the river, huh?”

  “You know it.” Nathan grinned wide, and Kell nodded.

  “All the guides know. We don’t do it if there are kids.”

  “That’s hilarious.” He’d bet Ash loved to do that. Mai frowned. “Am I keeping Ash away? Would he be here if I wasn’t?”

  “Sometimes. Ash wanders,” Nathan said.

  Kell snorted. “He’s restless. He can’t settle.”

  Mai nodded, knowing that was about the mating they’d started and never finished. He’d have guilt, but Ash had been the one who’d left, not him. There had been bad circumstances, sure. Still, Ash had given Mai no chance to make a choice. He’d just run. Like the coward he was.

  “You okay?” Liam asked.

  “Yeah. Great.” Except for all the shitty parts of remembering his past life and love.

  “Well, you look all down. Which is not flattering to our boy parts.”

  “Your penises are all more than adequate. Hell, Nathan’s is fucking impressive.”

  They all cackled, the raven’s laugh more a rough cough.

  “I’ve got to run, guys. I have a date with a nice wind swell.” Just like that, Kell climbed out of the river, shook himself, and shifted, going birdy and black and glossy, wings flapping.

  Liam grinned, looking fond, which made him impossibly handsome. “I need to chase those tail feathers. Excuse me.” In a flash, a mountain lion leaped out of the water and ran.

  Mai looked at Nathan. “You like peanut butter?”

  “I love peanut butter. You have some? I could totally share then invite you for steaks.”

  “Good deal.” He liked Nathan and didn’t want to be alone. He felt more connected to Ash with this man.

  “Ash was right about you. You’re a good guy.”

  “Am I? I don’t feel that way sometimes.” He’d given into the pack rather than chase his mate. Mai guessed that made him a coward, too.

  “We all do. All of us.” Nathan seemed so relaxed, so at ease in his skin. “Peanut butter?”

  “You got it. Come on.”

  Nathan stood up, shook himself dry. Damn, the man was huge. Everywhere.

  Mai dried off on the bank before pulling on his pants. “I have jelly, too. Or honey.”

  “Honey…” Oh, that was adorable, the little bear dance Nathan did.

  He could see why this one and Ash were friends.

  Goddess, he wanted to see Ash. Just see him. Okay, fine. Mai really wanted to fuck Ash, but whatever. All of his parts missed Ash, more now than he could remember in a long time. It was as if the wolf’s ghost was always right there.

  “You miss him, huh?” Nathan wandered around the cabin once they got inside.

  “Like a lost limb.”

  “You want me to tell him?” Nathan came over, sniffing hard when Mai opened up the peanut butter. “I mean, I know he misses you. He told us where you were.”

  “I don’t know.” Mai just decided to be honest. “We parted on bad terms. I caved to the pack, and he left.”

  “Oh? He just said there was a bad fight, and he couldn’t deal with it.”

  “I had to challenge him. They wanted to see me dominate him, beat him down. I don’t think I could have gone through with it, but I did challenge him.”

  “Wolves have lots of rules.”

  Mai pulled a face, grimacing. “We do.”

  “Bears are easier.” Nathan hugged him tight, surprising the hell out of him. The man gave the best hugs.

  “I guess, yeah. Thank you.” No one had touched him like this, just for comfort, in years.

  “It’s okay. The river heals everything. Well, the river and a good piece of salmon.”

  He hooted. “I like trout. Is that okay?”

  “God, yes. I like eating.” Those warm brown eyes danced for him.

  Mai grinned, feeling better than he had in a long time. He pulled out bread, nut butter, honey.

  Nathan poured milk, navigating the kitchen easily. They sat to a pleasant lunchy snack, not really chatting much.

  It was the most normal thing ever.

  Finally, Nathan say back and burped indelicately. “Man, that was good. I’ll tell Ash—that you want to see him, I mean.”

  “Thanks, man.” He forced himself not to get all nervous and wigged out. All they would do was talk, him and Ash, to make sure there were no hard feelings.

  “You into naps?”

  “If they involve sun.”

  “There’s a good beam right there.”

  He let Nathan steer him to the patch of sun, let the man draw him down on the floor. Mai got no sexual vibe from Nathan, just care, a desire to help. Friendship.

  He was grateful for it, especially since he hadn’t done anything to earn it.

  Snuggling together, they lay in the sun, no pillows or blankets needed. Nathan was like a big, old furnace. Maicoh rested hard, eyelids heavy. He’d missed this—touching, napping together.

  He missed having a pack who truly cared about him, and he hated having to wonder how long the period between caring and leaving had been. Too long. His body told him that now, his skin soaking up touch like the desert took in water.

  “You’re okay, friend. We rest.”

  “Thank you.” Mai patted some part of that big body before falling into sleep as if he were a rock falling into a well.

  Chapter Four

  “You did what?”

  “I slept with him. Napped. Not fucked. Napped.” Nathan cuffed Ashkii lightly. “Like I’d do anything to hurt you.”

  Ash’s cheeks heated. “I know. I know. I’m stupid where it comes to him.”

  “He misses you very much.” Nathan was making milkshakes. Food was love to the big bear.

  “He misses the idea of me, I bet.”

  “Be nice.” Nathan grinned at him, dark eyes shining. “He’s ashamed of whatever he did. You can tell.”

  “He’s a wolf. He fought for position. Every pack has their whipping boy. I just… I didn’t want to be that.” He would have given Mai the world, but the pack? Not for them. They would have called him Omega and beat him down weekly.

  “I’m lucky bears live in smaller groups, if at all.”

  “Yeah. Too many of you guys would be harsh.”

  “Hey!” Nathan waved an ice cream scoop at him. “Not funny.”

  Ash cracked up, wiggled his ears at Nathan. “I like the new sofa.”

  “Yeah? I found it at an estate sale.” Nathan loved rummage sales.

  “I do. You gonna let me spend the night?” Ash was a champion couch surfer.

  “Of course. I want to test my new quiche on you in the morning.”

  “Cool.” He sat at the back door, so restless, aching. “Does he really want to see me?”

  “Yes.” Nathan smiled gently, coming to hand him a glass of icy goodness.

  “I was stupid in love with him. I didn’t even block the first blow.”

  Nathan scowled. “He hit you? That is not cool.”

  “I wouldn’t change. Shift, you know?” He’d known Mai might kill him in wolf form. He was still on the smallish side, but then, he’d been tiny.

  “Oh.” Nathan pondered that. “That’s fair, I guess.”

  “Yeah.” He sipped his shake. “He probably thinks I’m a coward.”

  “Are you?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

  “Why?” Nathan raised a dark brow, waiting patiently.

  “I don’t want to fight. I just want to make things and float on the river.”

  “You can do that. There’s no pack here.”

  “I know. That’s why I’m here.” That’s why he’d run. No pack, no politics, no more devastating losses.

  “So, I was thinking of a dinner party.”

  “Yeah? You throw amazing parties. I love them.” It occurred to Ash, suddenly, that Nathan hadn’t ex
actly invited him.

  “Good. I want you and Liam and Kell and Martin and your ex.”

  “Oh. I like Kell.” Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh. God.

  His mouth went dry.

  “Stop panicking. This way you don’t have to see him alone the first time.”

  “The first time. Do you think I’ll get to see him again?” That particular desire was like a brushfire, starting small but trying to grow.

  “I do.” Nathan looked so sure. “He needs you.”

  “Yeah.” Something must have happened to the pack. Maybe they’d died. Maybe they’d run Mai out. Maybe, aliens had come and taken them all while Mai had been hunting. Whatever had happened, Mai’s soul had come looking for him as a surrogate.

  Ash wasn’t sure if he wanted to be a consolation prize, but he wasn’t sure he could resist.

  Nathan pinched him.

  “What? And also, ow!”

  “Stop putting yourself down in there. I can always tell. You chew your lip.”

  “You need a boyfriend.” Ash stopped biting his lip.

  Something sad flashed in Nathan’s eyes, a yearning so deep it made Ash blink. “I’ll live. Anyway, I hope your guy likes elk roast.”

  “I’m sure he does. And he’s not mine. I don’t do the possession thing.”

  Nathan chuckled. “I bet you learn to.”

  “Five bucks.” He had five bucks.

  Nathan blinked. “Huh?”

  “You bet me. I have a five.”

  “You’re on, then. Five bucks says you get all growly about him.”

  Nathan held out his hand, and they shook. Ash knew he would win. Why get all possessive about someone he could never have?

  Ash had made his decisions and that was that.

  All he needed was the river, and art.

  That was all he needed.

  Chapter Five

  Mai straightened his shirt then adjusted the silver cuff on his wrist. A dinner party. At a bear’s house. Nathan lived in a beautiful A-frame. Lots of windows.

  He saw Kell’s dark hair, Liam’s golden skin. He needed to know if Ash was there.

  Needed to.

  He took a deep breath then another. Okay. All he had to do was knock.

  A short little guy with glasses came up behind him. “Hello? You looking for Nathan’s?”