Fighting Addiction Read online

  “Thank you.” He patted her back a little awkwardly because she was so small. “Tell Heath to go on if I’m not back by pull-out.”

  “Okay. Let me get the cake and I’ll be at Seb’s bus in… twenty?”

  “Half hour.” It would take twenty to get Seb to let him on the bus. Of course, he had a key now.

  “You got it.” She was on the phone before she was out the door.

  Markus changed into sweats and grabbed his phone and his keys. He didn’t bother to knock; he let himself in to Seb’s bus.

  “Seb?”

  “It’s my time off. I can’t see anybody right now. I’m tired.”

  “Baby, it’s not just anybody.” He found Seb in the bathroom, scrubbing his hands. Oh man. Okay. Okay, this was crazy now. Seb’s fingertips were starting to bleed, scratches showing on the man’s arms.

  “Seb.” He put his hands on Seb’s shoulders. “Stop.”

  “Candy? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

  Seb had to stop this shit. Right now.

  He whirled Seb around, staring down into those bright green eyes, which looked feverish. God, how did this happen so damned fast? “Baby, you need some rest.”

  “It’s not time. What do you want?” Seb blinked at him. “The pills aren’t working, Markus. I called the doctor and they’re not working like they’re supposed to.”

  “I want you to breathe.” He wanted to shake Seb, actually, but he didn’t. He guided the man toward the back of the bus. Seb was trembling in his hands, muscles jerking and twitching like they had minds of their own.

  “That’s it, Seb.” He eased down on the bed, pulling Seb down on his lap. Seb stayed for about, oh, half a second before he started twitching and shifting, muttering.

  “Shh.” He kissed Sebastian’s neck, let his hands run up and down Seb’s back.

  “Markus?” Seb moaned, pushed back into his hands. “Fuck, you’re warm.”

  “Uh-huh. It’s been too long, baby. Next time you have to tell me.” If he could just get Seb to come to him when this happened, he could help. This shit was insane, and all Seb needed was somewhere to breathe, a place to settle so his brain stopped eating itself.

  He hugged Seb tight, kissing whatever skin he could find. Seb’s body moved like there was music playing, like he was strumming the lean body. It made him feel ten feet tall, that he could ease his lover out of the hard-core freak-out.

  He heard the bus door open, heard footsteps, then a soft “I left the pieces on the table.” Good woman.

  Seb frowned. “Pieces of what?”

  “Don’t worry about that right now.” He kissed away the frown.

  “The pills aren’t working anymore.” Seb’s face chased his lips.

  “No? Well, maybe we need to work on something better than pills.” Markus kept it light, nonjudgmental. He’d self-medicated a lot over the years.

  “Touch me.” Seb brought their lips together in a hard, suddenly hungry kiss.

  Yeah. God, yeah, he could lose himself in Seb for a little while. He kissed back, pushing hard, daring Seb to make it even better. He wanted that sweet motherfucker focused on nothing but him, nothing but how much they needed each other. That was all Markus could think on, all he wanted in the world.

  His brain skittered away from those thoughts, focused instead on what he needed, right now. And that was Seb—all of him, right at this moment.

  Moving slowly, he eased his hand down Seb’s belly so he could push into Seb’s sweats and grab that hot, hard cock. Wet-tipped and swollen, Seb’s prick pushed right into his fingers. That was it. So fucking perfect. Addictive. He pushed his fingers deeper into the sweats, rolled the heavy balls, jonesing on Seb’s need. The way that head fell back, the cords standing out in Seb’s neck made Markus want things, made him want to hear Seb scream.

  Markus surged up, pushing Seb right back onto the bed, slamming the lean body into the mattress. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do first: slap, bite, or fuck like crazy.

  “Damn it.” Seb’s fingers dug into his shoulders. “Markus, come on.”

  “I got what you need, baby.” He pulled back enough to reach down and tug Seb’s sweats off, just so he could pull those heavy balls. That would sting a little.

  “Uhn.” Seb’s shoulders left the mattress, their lips slamming together.

  The kiss left his head spinning, his body jerking. He smacked Seb’s thigh, finally figuring out what to do. A sharp sound pushed between his lips, Seb rolling into it. So Markus did it again. He moaned when Seb jerked, and he flipped Seb over, that tight ass right there for him to work on.

  “Don’t you dare, you fuck.” Seb’s cock was hard as nails, driving against his thighs.

  “Don’t you dare me, baby.” He smacked that round, tight butt, his hand bouncing back.

  “Uhn. You can’t….” Seb rocked up, pushed back into his hand.

  “Oh, I so can.” He was going to beat that beautiful, needy ass raw.

  The talking stopped just about then, because he started laying down blows, hard and steady, meeting each and every one of Seb’s motions. Seb bucked and rocked and panted, and Markus gave the man everything he had.

  “Candy. Candy, love. Please.” Seb was moaning now, steadily, breath hitching.

  “Anything, baby. I know what you want.” He hit the backs of Seb’s thighs, knowing the thin skin there would be so sensitive.

  “Fuck.” Seb curled in, knees pulling up underneath, nudging his thighs.

  “Soon. Not done with this yet.” His hand tingled, his arm starting to tire.

  His Seb was going to feel this—tonight, tomorrow. They had four days. Four days to fucking chill out. God, that sounded so good. Time away. Time that didn’t belong to anyone else.

  “Please….” Seb leaned in and bit him, hard.

  “Shit!” He smacked that ass so hard his palm went pale, then red. Seb cried out, the sound so musical that he wanted to scream.

  Seb sucked in a sobbing breath, hips rocking up, and come sprayed over his thighs.

  “Oh, baby. Love it when you come. You smell like heaven.”

  “Fuck me. Markus. Candy. I need you.”

  He knew. He fucking knew. Shit, he was risking his entire fucking career for it.

  “Just let me….” He knew where the slick was now, where the condoms lived.

  Seb moaned, hips still moving in random, jerky motions. All Markus had to do was stroke Seb’s skin and hum, waiting for the aftershocks to die down before he moved. His lover relaxed for him, though, tremors easing enough that he could move from under Seb, slide behind the man, and drag his burning fingers along the blistered heat of Seb’s ass.

  “God, if you could see what I see right now, baby. You’re on fire for me.”

  Seb’s hips rolled up, that still-stiff cock fucking the air. “Please. Please, Candy. I’m losing my mind.”

  “So am I,” Markus murmured, leaning to reach for the lube and the rubber. “I need you, Seb. Need you.”

  Seb pushed up, lips wrapping around one of his nipples, the suction sudden, fierce, and Markus moaned, his body jerking hard. It was almost too much. “Want to fuck you.”

  “Please.” Those green eyes blazed at him, bloodshot, hungry, wanton.

  “God.” Markus handed Seb the lube. “Get yourself ready, baby.”

  Seb didn’t argue. He fumbled the tube open and slicked those clever fingers, and two of them disappeared into the tiny, needy hole. Markus watched, his teeth in his mouth, his moan shocking him with how loud it was.

  Jesus, look at that. Seb worked himself furiously, lips open, eyes rolled back. It was like Markus’s own personal porn reel, only so much better, more personal and amazing. He slid the rubber down over his cock, slicking himself up as he watched Seb’s fingers appear, disappear, and then Seb added a third finger.

  He reached out and tugged Sebastian’s hand away, pushing between those muscled, spread thighs.

  “Are you finally ready?” Oh, little shit. P
ushy little butthead.

  Markus slid in so fast it left him breathless. “I’d say so, yeah.”

  Seb’s response was a soft little cry, that burning ass slapping against his thighs. They rocked together, their skin slippery with sweat and Seb’s come, the feeling so good that Markus wanted to write the dirtiest song ever. He buried his lips in Seb’s shoulder, humming hard as they moved. Yes. Fuck, yes. This was better than coming home. This was everything he’d ever wanted. He watched Seb, keeping his eyes open when they wanted to close.

  Seb’s groan made his mouth dry or he’d answer it, sing his own fucking harmony, and Markus moved faster, harder, Seb’s skin so hot it almost burned. A wild cry split the air, and suddenly Seb was right there again, needing.

  “That’s it, baby. That’s it. Come on.” He reached for Seb’s cock, loving how it filled his hand.

  He felt Seb’s hunger, all around his cock, and when he pulled that hard prick, his eyes crossed, Seb’s ass like a vise. It made friction so much hotter, so much better, and all he could do was work back and forth against it. Nothing so good could last—it just wasn’t possible, but damn, it was like time stopped for a little while before his balls tightened, his rhythm lost. He grunted, his breath whooshing out when he came, his body wracked with shudder after shudder.

  Seb was sobbing low, bucking on his cock when he came back into his own head, and he started stroking, the sensations of Seb’s body around his dick almost too much. He stroked hard and fast, wanting Seb to be right there with him.

  It only took a few tugs before heat splashed on his wrist, Seb’s little moans fading.

  He waited for Seb to stop shaking before patting that spent cock and flopping down on the bed. Fuck, he could live on that for years.

  Fucking stunning part was, when Seb came to him, cheek on his chest to rest, that was even better. There was no more shaking, no more scratching. Just sleep.

  Next on the agenda was food, and then him and Seb, they needed to chat. At length.

  That he wasn’t looking forward to nearly as much.

  SEBASTIAN ACHED—his head, his ass, his chest.

  What the fuck?

  He blinked, trying to understand. The bus was moving. That was good. There was a warm, heavy body next to him, and he could smell waffles. Sebastian muttered. There weren’t supposed to be food smells on his bus.

  “Hey, you.” Markus kissed the corner of his mouth. “How do you feel, baby?”

  “Sore. A little blinky.” He pressed closer. “Do I smell food?”

  “I made waffles. Did you know you have a waffle iron? I ate the cake, I’m afraid.” Candy looked so… pleased.

  “No. Why do I have a waffle iron?” Maybe they’d stolen one from a Waffle House, a long time ago.

  “Hell if I know. I got Bev to get me some Bisquick and some eggs and shit.”

  He pondered that. He shouldn’t. Waffles were fattening. Butter. Syrup. They smelled so good, though. His stomach growled, rumbling and snarling like a living thing.

  “See? Waffles good. Come on, baby. Come get a plate and we’ll eat. I know you don’t want crumbs in bed.”

  “Okay.” Seb rolled up, following that tempting body. Markus was naked and easy, moving through his bus like it was nothing. Those muscles—it just wasn’t fair how easily Markus stayed in shape. Maybe it was about being tall.

  “I missed my workout, I think.”

  “You needed the sleep. We’re stopping tonight at this amazing park. We’ll take a run.”

  “Outside?” He liked that. A lot. “Okay.”

  “Yeah. There’s miles of trails and not a lot of folks and the weather is good.” Markus looked so pleased that Sebastian had to grin.

  “The waffles smell pretty good.” This whole eating thing was just… weird.

  “I’ll just make you up one to begin with.” Markus moved around his little kitchenette like it was actually functional.

  He nodded, wandering a little. He needed to find his phone, check his messages, see what time it was. Take his meds. Where the hell were his meds? He always kept them in the kitchen.

  “Did you move my pills, man? I missed a dose.” And his hands were a little shaky.

  “Yeah. I put them in that cabinet. Want some juice?”

  “No. Yes. I mean… calories.”

  “Well, you’ve missed two rounds of pineapple.” One dark brow rose, Markus waiting patiently.

  He looked down at himself. “I guess.” God, his head hurt.

  “Here, baby.” Guiding him to a seat at the table, Markus got him apple juice and pulled out his pills.

  “Thank you. I’m sorry. I’m off my schedule.” And weirdly confused.

  “I know. I’m an expert at rolling with it, man.”

  While he took his pills, Markus made him a plate. He swallowed his pills down, then looked at the waffle. The butter, the syrup… uhn. All of a sudden he was hungry as all hell. He dipped his finger in one of the squares, then licked the syrup off. Damn. Bev had good taste in groceries. Only the best for Markus. She couldn’t be buying for him. She knew he didn’t eat.

  “I don’t eat.” He dipped and licked again.

  “I know.” Markus slathered butter on a waffle.

  He nodded, cut a square out of his waffle, nibbled. God, it was good, crunchy on the outside, soft in the middle. Carb heaven. He smiled, licking his lips. Markus stopped, fork halfway to his mouth, staring at Seb.

  “What?” What was wrong? It was just one bite, and it had been good.

  “Sorry.” Candy’s cheeks went red. “That was hot.”

  “Oh.” Oh, now that was okay. “Do you want me to stop? We’re naked. Avoiding hotness like this will be hard.” Hard. He snorted.

  Markus laughed too, the sound low and sexy. “Nope. Don’t stop on me. Lick away.”

  He grinned, took another bite, licking his fingers clean again. Markus watched happily, smiling that way. That way Sebastian knew meant he was in for a world of fun.

  “I’m going to have to do a thousand crunches.” He ate another square, this one rich, buttery.

  “I told you, we’ll run it off.” There was something fierce in Markus’s eyes. “’Course what we got up to earlier will burn calories for at least another hour.”

  “That was—” Hot. Fierce. Amazing. “—intense.”

  “It was. I liked it a lot.” Markus wolfed down two waffles.

  He ate a quarter of one, then got up and started wandering, restless, horny.

  “What’s up, baby?” Once the dishes were in the sink, Candy followed him.

  “I’m horny. I’m a little itchy. Do you want to write?”

  “Sure.” They got out the guitars, got settled. “What does itchy mean?”

  “Hmm?” He grabbed a pen, some paper. “It’s like… I don’t know. My skin doesn’t fit right. I keep telling Jack and Dr. Norman that this isn’t working, that I’m still tired, but I itch. What are you in the mood for?”

  “Something bluesy for you. Something… caramel.”

  “Caramel?” What a great fucking word.

  “Yeah. Smooth, creamy, but with that bite of burnt sugar.”

  Seb grinned. This was why Markus was a good lyrics man.

  “You should make breakfast more often.” He started picking, fingers moving over the strings.

  “Yeah?” Those long fingers started picking in turn, Markus right there with him. “Maybe I will.”

  They found a melody pretty quick, and then Markus started laying in the lyrics, working hard while he dithered out some of the rhythm section. It was going to be a good song, all about whiskey and sugar and how nothing eased the pain. He liked it.

  He got up for coffee after they hammered out the bridge, needing the hit of caffeine.

  “That smells good.” Markus got up and wandered over, looking all tall and naked and fuzzy.

  “You want a cup?” He licked his lips, eating Markus up. He had to stop this. They had a handful of shows left, damn it. He couldn’t ju
st fall apart.

  “I do.” They bumped hips, and he almost moaned at how hot Markus’s skin was.

  His hands were shaking a little bit as he poured the coffee. Goddamn, he needed to put on pants.

  “What is it, baby?” Markus moved even closer. He shuddered as Markus’s hand slid down his back, over his aching, still-warm ass. Those long fingers searched out every tender spot, pushing him a little. Maybe a lot.

  “Markus.” His hands landed on the little counter. “Oh fuck, you can’t do this.” He spread a little, though, wanting it more than he wanted his next breath.

  “Why not, baby? We’re here. We have time.” Markus spun him around, dropping to the floor behind him to lick his too-hot skin.

  Oh, sweet fuck. His eyes crossed and he pushed back, that tongue like a flame, and he wanted to beg. He wanted all sorts of things, but he just rocked back and forth, panting. Then Markus spread his asscheeks and licked at his hole.

  “Candy!” It felt like every muscle in his entire fucking body went tight.

  Markus didn’t answer him out loud. The only answer he had was Markus going at him, harder and faster.

  His thighs began to shake, his leg muscles trembling as he spread and went up on tiptoe. The feel of Markus’s morning stubble was intense against his spank-tanned hide. He gasped, so freaked out he didn’t know what to do. He stumbled forward, slamming against the counter, grunting deep in his chest.

  “Baby?” Markus paused a moment, hands spreading him wide.

  “Please. You’re making me fucking crazy!”

  “No worries, lover. I got you.” Markus moved back to Sebastian’s skin, licking, pressing.

  So big. So big and he was burning and he needed like nothing else. His blood throbbed in his veins, his heart pounding. His skin felt like the tiniest scratch would break him right open.

  When Markus pulled back his mouth and fingers slammed in, Sebastian threw his head back and bit out a scream. It was huge, this feeling, and it took over everything else.

  “Mmm-hmm. That’s it, baby. You gotta breathe.”

  Breathing was overrated. The way Markus’s tongue worked him was the only thing in the world that mattered.

  Sebastian grunted, then found himself writhing, dancing like he was on stage and the lights were beating down on him. His hips rotated, his chest dipping toward the counter, his belly hard as a board. Markus didn’t let up on him either, fingers and mouth moving in concert, that tongue sliding down to his balls.